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The Washington City Paper released their Best of D.C. 2011 picks today and, naturally, there's a burger category. We fully acknowledge lists of this nature are highly subjective and we're not calling them out on their choices --Ray's and Bourbon Steak are excellent selections. Our objection is more with the article's overall tone and wishy-washiness. One minute the author is saying that he can't choose a best burger, but then goes in detail about the two best. Then he turns around and ends the article saying that the best is "in the eye of the beholder." Well, no shit, dude. But you're writing about the area's best, sound off like a burger authority. We expect a little more than just burger relativism. The second problem we have with the article is the notion that proximity somehow detracts from a burger's score. He rightfully recognizes Stoney's excellent burgers, but then he refuses to call them (or Black Squirrel's) the best because they're bar burgers and it's "useless to anyone who lives or works a mile away." What?? That makes no sense at all. In fact it's a cop out. Doesn't being the best mean people will travel for your shit? People didn't drive to Iowa to watch a bunch of scrubs on the field, they went because it was fucking magical--that's what being something special (or the best) does to the masses! We've been known to jump on the Metro in the early AM, transfer lines, then trek four plus blocks just to get a One Eye. And we're 15 miles away (yeah, yeah, we're a bit more fanatical about our burgers than most, but a great burger is a great burger). And, again, we're not knocking the Ray's choice-- we love Ray's, and wouldn't be surprised if it ended up atop our best burger list this year. But how come there's no qualifier there? Hell Burger is more than a mile away from D.C., Washington City Paper. Who cares if it comes from a bar or a dedicated burger joint? If you're going to present yourself as a burger expert and pick the best, then just do it. (Note: The CP readers chose 1) Five Guys, 2) Ray's and 3) Good Stuff. That's what we like, straight and to the point. Save the essays and just give us the goods.)