Burger Days Survival Guide

A brief history lesson on Burger Days:

What we call “Burger Days” are the reason this site came to be. We eat burgers on the regular and nothing makes us happier than eating good ones. We had tried all the big boys– you know, the ones always on the “Best Of” lists of D.C.’s newspapers, magazines, etc.

We knew there were so many other spots out there putting out the goods and it would be near-impossible to try them all at our regular pace (though, our regular pace is pretty damn swift.) Plus, we wanted to hit up the lesser-known joints. The hole-in-the-walls. The unheralded dives. The places that don’t have celebrity chefs or brand-name recognition. Spots that could end up producing the proverbial diamond-in-the-rough. We’re busy guys, so in the interest of time management, we needed a way to hit up the most joints possible. 

And that’s how Burger Days were born.

Now, there are regular outings when we’ll hit up three or even four burger joints in a day, but Burger Days are entirely different events altogether. They’re all-day-and-night long beef and booze celebrations filled with plenty of hijinx and meat sweats. Bottom line: they’re f*cking amazing.

All Burger Days participants must order a burger at each location visited. Sliders, mini-burgers and non-beef, four-legged animal burgers are acceptable, however, bird and fish burgers are NOT. The places we hit up need not be limited to just burger joints– any spot that serves a burger is game. And you have to finish your burger– no sharing. This is Burger Days.

While it may sound like a walk  in a beefy park, trust us, it’s a lot more taxing on the belly than you realize. Here are some tips and strategies for making it through a Burger Days Adventure.

1) These ain’t your fast-food style burgers. Most of the spots we hit up on Burger Days do not serve up the smaller patties. No, these burgers are, more often than not, of the 1/2 lb. or more variety, so pace yourself! Far too often we’ve seen Crew members moaning, groaning and begging to throw in the towel because they’ve eaten too much, too fast.

2) Building on the above tip: Burger Days is a marathon, not a sprint. Many are tempted to come out of the gates and inhale the beef with the gusto, but if you go that route, you won’t last long. This is not an eating competition. We like to imagine the Tortoise was thinking of us when he said “Slow and steady wins the race.”

Toby the Tortoise– the OG BD crew member.

3) Preparation is key. Dont starve yourself leading up to Burger Days. If you eat nothing but salad and veggies in anticipation of your body’s upcoming beef invasion, you will be hurting. Not only will your stomach shrink and you’ll be unable to hang with the rest of the Crew, but the onslaught of red meat will do a number on your innards. If you plan on participating, then now is the time to prep. Roughage (whole heads of lettuce, cabbage, etc.) and drinking large amounts of water will do wonders on increasing stomach size, or so we’re told. And be sure to continue eating meat.

4) Sides are NOT your friends. While it’s near impossible to avoid the accompanying fried shitz served up with most burgers, they fill up the belly with the quickness. Hard as it may be, it’s best to limit the intake.

5) Boozers ARE our friends. We tend to wash down our burgers throughout the day with mass quantities of booze. Now this is NOT a requirement to participate, but it’s something we have found helps us maintain our hunger through our beefy adventures. (Really, who doesn’t get drunk hungry?) The lineup mostly consists of beer, though we have been known to take a few shots to the face as well. (On Burger Days III, we had quite an adventure with absinthe at 1905 and on Burger Days IV, a 15-minute pit stop turned into a two-hour booze-a-thon filled with a handle of Jameson, a beer funnel and Donnie Darko).



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