Nobody Will Make a Real D.C. Burger So We Did It Ourselves
For years, we have been patiently waiting for someone to make a true Washington, D.C. burger. And for years nobody has answered the call.
Bobby Flay – the man with a plethora of obscure, regional-themed burgers (Pacific Northwest burger?) at his Palace – has consistently thumbed his nose at the District. Smashburger does have the Capital Burger, but unless someone can tell us what onions, Swiss and bacon have to do with the Nation’s Capital, that thing is D.C. in name only. And when Daniel Boulud said he was bringing D.C. its own special burger (with D.C. DNA, to boot!) to his CityCenter DBGB Kitchen outpost, he instead brought one topped with crab. Come on, chef – this is Washington, not Baltimore.
Well, enough is enough. Sick and tired of waiting for someone to step up to the plate, we decided to do it ourselves.
When it comes to dining, there are two icons on the D.C. scene. The first, of course, is the half-smoke, the pork-and-beef sausage most famously sold at Ben’s Chili Bowl. The second is that Chinese take-out staple, the sweet-and-sticky condiment of delight: mumbo sauce (screw you, Chicago, it’s ours). Naturally, our burger has both of those. But because this is Burger Days and because we don’t believe in weak-ass shit, we didn’t just throw a mumbo-covered sausage on some beef. No, we did this thing up right.
On top, there’s the half-smoke, butterflied and covered in a cheddar-and-American cheese sauce, spicy brown mustard, diced white onions and jalapeño. All of that goodness is resting on a beef patty which in turn is resting on a couple of mumbo-drenched CRISPY CHICKEN SKINS because, as any true Washingtonian knows, there ain’t no chicken skin like mumbo sauce-slathered chicken skin. Bottomed off with another beef patty and this, friends, is a true, honest-to-God, D.C. burger.
Not Virginia. Not the Mid-Atlantic. Not fucking Baltimore.
This. Is. The District.
An Open Invitation to All D.C. Chefs & Burger Slingers: feel free to adopt this one for your very own; our price is cheap – just pay us in burgers.