Sabotaging Your Resolutions, One Burger At a Time [BOTM Review]
We’re champions of creativity here at Burger Days– it’s one of the reasons we highlight the area’s special monthly burgers with our BOTM posts. Not content with just reading about them, we also make it our mission to seek out and throw each of these creations into our faces.
And now, we’re hitting you with the reviews while THESE BURGERS ARE STILL AROUND, so you can actually find out which of the BOTMs you should eat…or avoid.
Our review of January’s BOTMs:
Koreatown – Bobby’s Burger Palace
I’m starting to get that Charlie-Brown-kicking-the-football feeling whenever I sit down at the Burger Palace.
On paper, the Koreatown Burger (soy glaze, Korean “ketchup,” kimchee and fried egg) is about as far away from my flavor comfort zone as we can get. I am not a big fan of kimchee, and only recently have I come around on runny eggs. Yet I was as excited for this burger as any BOTM. Hell, I’ve recently discovered I no longer hate mustard so why can’t I come around on pickled vegetables? It’s a new year, which means it’s time to start broadening those flavor horizons!
As usual, the burger came out looking the part. Of all the places in the BOTM rotation, no one is more consistent than BBP when it comes to serving up visually stunning burgers. Unfortunately, BBP is also extremely consistent when it comes to dull, muted flavors and this burger was no exception.
The highlights; both the burger and the egg were cooked to perfection…oh, and it looked great. Everything else about this burger was just boring. The burger patty was supposed to have a soy glaze, but I couldn’t tell the difference between it and the standard salt-and- peppered patty. The Korean “ketchup” was non-existent, which is a real shame because it could have added an additional –and much-needed– dimension. I found a small splash of it on my plate (so I know it was in there somewhere) and it tossed out an interesting sweet and sour/peppery flavor. Though, besides tasting it on its own, the flavor was still faint.
The biggest disappointment was the kimchee. I was hoping for something to jump out at me, smack me in the face and say “you are a moron for neglecting me for so many years!” I did not receive any such flavor-smack to the face. Instead, after racing to the burger with reckless enthusiasm, I found myself lying face up on the ground, with Bobby’s Burger Palace once again ripping the flavor out from under me at the last second.
– Matt (@yaysaps)
BOTM Rating (out of 10):
Taste: 4; Creativity: 8; Overall: 5
Hangover Burger – Burger Tap & Shake
I am angry, but I am angry all the time. I don’t even get hangovers anymore, but I was hoping a hangover burger would make me less angry. The concept is a smart one, cram protein and carbohydrates together, add hot sauce, perhaps serve with something caffeinated (you can for two additional dollars enjoy the burger with a Red Bull.) Throw in some aspirin and some vitamins, that’s how you cure a hangover. Well, that and a whole lot of water. But the devil’s in the details, and the frustrating detail of this chili was in fact the water. Stupid, wet chili, with raw cumin. No, I take it back, raw cumin is the biggest problem. Cumin is an oil soluble seasoning, like most seed or nut-based spices. You have to bloom it in oil, cook it through like cooking the raw flavor out of flour when making a roux. That nasty chili aftertaste, that feeling of constantly burping up spice, that comes from uncooked cumin.
If you can get past the watery, badly seasoned chili, the little bits of brisket in it are good, as is the burger, the pepper jack cheese, jalapenos, and hot sauce. The fried egg on top (really just sunny side up) was well cooked though it needed salt. But the chili, making a mess of things to the point where I had to eat the thing with a fork and knife. Drippy, but not in a good way.
So many choices you can make for a hangover remedy. I always think of a little place outside of Killington with pumpkin spice pancakes wrapped around pork sausages, side of potatoes and onions and a massive glass of cranberry juice. The regular BTS bun, while good if not sopping wet, doesn’t really cut it in terms of providing near enough starch to cure a hangover. A great idea for a burger, particularly to start this odd new year, but not well thought out nor well executed.
– Jeb (@jebgavin)
BOTM Rating (out of 10):
Taste: 3; Creativity: 4; Overall: 4
2200 Pennsylvania Ave NW | DC | burgertapandshake.com
F.Y.R. (AKA Fuck Your Resolutions) – Dogwood Tavern
I wholeheartedly endorse Dogwood’s middle finger to all those seeking to start off the year on a steady diet of kale and quinoa. After downing this sucker, I’m convinced there is no greater way to greet 2014 than with cheese-stuffed fried shit, a fat slab of pig belly and a beefy patty. Trust me.
There’s nothing complicated about this burger, it’s just straight up gluttony on a bun. All the ingredients –any one of which will knock your New Year’s resolving ass off track– are stacked on one another making for a towering, if somewhat unwieldy, mound of greasiness slicker than Steven Seagal’s pony tail. But Hard-to-Kill hair styles aside, the combo was a deeply satisfying bomb to the gut. The pork belly was done well with a fatty crust that paired nicely with the cheese-stuffed jalapeno poppers. Truth be told, the beef played second, and maybe even third, fiddle to the other two but I could still pick it out with each bite and that was good enough for me.
I did feel like something was missing, however, and think a sauce would have done a good job bringing the whole thing together. Nothing too thick or oil based –there’s enough of that already going on– but maybe a dash or two of the Cholula sitting on the table would have done the trick. I also wanted a little more seasoning on the somewhat bland pork belly but it was nothing that would keep me from throwing this down the ol’ face hole a time or three again.
If you’ve made it this far into the New Year still sticking to your resolutions, congratulations. But if you ask me, it’s about time you fuck ’em at Dogwood.
(You might notice the side salad sitting next to the burger because, hey, I’m cutting back on carbs. Obviously.)
– Jody (@burgerdays)
BOTM Rating (out of 10):
Taste: 7.5; Creativity: 7; Overall: 7.5
132 West Broad Street | Falls Church | dogwoodtavern.com
The Tracy* – BGR The Burger Joint
BGR The Burger Joint is one of my more frequented burger stops. I enjoy their burgers and think they do a great job most of the time on their regular offerings but I’m growing wary of ordering my burgers with the works. Getting “The Works” consists of lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, and mojo sauce on you burger. It gets sloppy and is an adventure in and of itself. Don’t get me wrong, those are good ingredients but once you start piling stuff on top of a burger, it becomes more a random assortment of tastes than a single burger.
After eating the Tracy Burger, I think I’m done with the Works. I’d rather have a burger with some sauce, a complimentary cheese, maybe a veggie or two and a random ingredient to mix things up occasionally than one with more ingredients than I can even remember.
* This burger stopped being offered on the 12th of this month. The current BOTM is the Triple D with bacon, cheese and egg. Eat it.
– Adam (@addc)
BOTM Rating (out of 10):
Taste: 5; Creativity: 7; Overall: 6