Burger Days 5 Announced, Get Ready for St. Beef Paddy’s Day


Eight months --EIGHT MONTHS!-- have passed since we last shoved so much beef and beer..oh so much beer... into our systems that we smelled like straight cow for a month. So we're tickled-f**cking-pink, to announce that in two weeks, the Crew will once again be unleashed upon the streets of D.C. to engage in the fifth episode of our never-ending love affair with the beef. We thought long and hard about the date for our latest epic burger adventure and, after much deliberation, we decided it was only appropriate to hold the burger day of all burger days on the drinking day of all drinking days. So mark your calendars D.C. burger lovers, BD 5 is on for Saturday, March 17. Yup, St. Patrick's Day. Burgers and booze will collide for what will be the booziest, beefiest, most greasiest day in history. We're calling it St. Beef Paddy's Day.
A brief history lesson on Burger Days: What we call "Burger Days" are the reason this site came to be. We eat burgers on the regular and nothing makes us happier than eating good ones. We had tried all the big boys-- you know, the ones always on the "Best Of" lists of D.C.'s newspapers, magazines, etc. We knew there were so many other spots out there putting out the goods and it would be near-impossible to try them all at our regular pace (though, our regular pace is pretty damn swift.) Plus, we wanted to hit up the lesser-known joints. The hole-in-the-walls. The unheralded dives. The places that don't have celebrity chefs or brand-name recognition. Spots that could end up producing the proverbial diamond-in-the-rough. We're busy guys, so in the interest of time management, we needed a way to hit up the most joints possible. And that's how Burger Days were born. Now, there are regular days we'll hit up three or even four burger joints in a day, but Burger Days are entirely different events altogether. They're special beer and grease-soaked days. And they're open to all.)
  That Saturday morning, the BD crew sets out for the first burger destination of the day. Only the first joint has been pre-selected, the rest of the stops are decided upon as the day progresses.

Artist dramatization of Burger Days 5. (Illustration by the uber-talented Lucas Hardi)

All Burger Days participants must order a burger at each location visited. Sliders, mini-burgers and non-beef, four-legged animal burgers are acceptable, however, bird and fish burgers are NOT. The places we hit up need not be limited to just burger joints-- any spot that serves a burger is game. And you have to finish your burger-- no sharing. This is Burger Days. Burger Days first started as a means of burger discovery in the D.C.-area, and while we are open to revisiting past conquered joints, we try to limit these days to new-to-us burgs. In order to maximize the day's burger intake, we're get things going a bit earlier than usual this year, moving the start time up to 10:30 11 a.m. when we'll be kicking off our burger and booze filled romp at Lindy's Red Lion. This is the only destination set in stone for St. Beef Paddy's Day, everything else will be decided upon day of. No rules, just burgers. And just because we're starting in Foggy Bottom, doesn't mean we'll end the night there. In fact, most Burger Days conclude far from our starting point. For a look at past and future Burger Days' destinations, including potential BD 5 spots, see our official map. Burger Days have always been open to everyone and, once again, we would like to extend an invite to our readers to join us on our beefy adventure. If you do decide to come along, we will welcome you with open, greasy arms, but please don't expect anything too structured or organized. We will be drinking, eating burgers and engaging in a lot of off-color commentary-- much like you see here on the site. If this sounds like your kind of party, RSVP on our Facebook page or just shoot us an email. As the day gets closer, more details on when and where we will be meeting will be available. We also went and designed some kick-ass shirts for the Burger Days-St. Patrick's Day mashup, so if you want to show your Burger Days love for the booze and burgs, check out our beefy threads here. Aside from that, this is a casual affair-- pants and cummerbunds are optional. Some tips for BD participants: 1) These ain't your fast-food style burgers. Most of the spots we hit up on Burger Days do not serve up the smaller patties. No, these burgers are, more often than not, of the 1/2 lb. or more variety, so pace yourself! Far too often we've seen Crew members moaning, groaning and begging to throw in the towel because they've eaten too much, too fast. 2) Building on the above tip: Burger Days is a marathon, not a sprint. Many are tempted to come out of the gates and inhale the beef with the gusto, but if you go that route, you won't last long. This is not an eating competition. We like to imagine the Tortoise was thinking of us when he said "Slow and steady wins the race."

Toby the Tortoise-- the OG BD crew member.

3) Preparation is key. Don't starve yourself leading up to Burger Days. If you eat nothing but salad and veggies in anticipation of your body's upcoming beef invasion, you will be hurting. Not only will your stomach shrink and you'll be unable to hang with the rest of the Crew, but the onslaught of red meat will do a number on your innards. If you plan on participating, then now is the time to prep. Roughage (whole heads of lettuce, cabbage, etc.) and drinking large amounts of water will do wonders on increasing stomach size, or so we're told. And be sure to continue eating meat. 4) Sides are NOT your friends. While it's near impossible to avoid the accompanying fried shitz served up with most burgers, they fill up the belly with the quickness. Hard as it may be, it's best to limit the intake. 5) Boozers ARE our friends. We tend to wash down our burgers throughout the day with mass quantities of booze. And since St. Patrick's Day is now in the mix? Awww shit, it's going to get silly. Now this is NOT a requirement to participate, but it's something we have found helps us maintain our hunger through our beefy adventures. (Really, who doesn't get drunk hungry?) The lineup mostly consists of beer, though we have been known to take a few shots to the face as well. (On Burger Days III, we had quite an adventure with absinthe at 1905 and on Burger Days IV, a 15-minute pit stop turned into a two-hour booze-a-thon filled with a handle of Jameson, a beer funnel and Donnie Darko). To give you an idea of what to expect, a recap of our last two Burger Days: BD III: Started out at Stoney's on P St. around noon. After that, we hoofed it to Desperado's on U. We had a brief pit stop to cleanse our pallets at The Saloon (boo), before venturing on to 1905 on 9th. BD IV: Settled in to Black Squirrel at noon. Trekked to Murphy's for a booze break, then Open City for burger two. Next was Asylum (R.I.P) for lots and lots of booze which led up The Reef. Capped the night off at Policy. Think you can handle it? Prep yo' bellies.    

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