Because we love beer almost as much as we love burgers, we thought we might as well spit some words on the brews. Each week (or as close as we can get), we lock two beer aficionados, simply known as Doc and El Borracho, in a room with a notepad, pencil and a stockpile of beer. Whatever we can decipher from their alcoholic scribbles we bring to you with Boozer Days.
Bios
Doc:Â Despite his nickname, Doc is, in fact, not a doctor of any kind. Rather, Doc acquired his handle from El Borracho for his ability to read above a fifth-grade level -- a skill that warrants an advanced degree in the eyes of El Borracho. Intellectually (and, occasionally, physically) aroused by the bounty of our beer-filled world, Doc is always eager to sample pints from around the globe and learn the stories behind them. Happily married, Doc has often joked that he'd leave his wife for a proper pint. His wife has yet to find this amusing.
El Borracho:Â A patron of 90 percent of the nation's bars during his 45 years, El Borracho's knowledge of beer is surpassed by only a select few. How he has accrued that knowledge has not always been a savory process. As a result, several outstanding warrants have prompted El Borracho to sport his trademark Luchador mask whenever he appears in public -- earning him the rapt attention of both Mexican wrestling fans and fetishists. Single -- and most likely permanently so -- El Borracho is the (sometimes) proud father of seven children in eight states. (It's complicated.) El Borracho's connection to Doc is something of a mystery, but many suspect the involvement compromising photos.
This Week's Beer: Hercules Double IPA by Great Divide Brewing Co.
(Denver, Colorado)
Â
Type: Double IPA |
Alcohol: 10% |
greatdivide.com
If you're familiar with Greek mythology (or had a thing for Kevin Sorbo), you know that Hercules was the son of Zeus -- the king of the gods -- and Alcmene -- a smoking-hot Greek woman who probably looked a lot like this. Alcmene was supposed to be extremely wise, but of course, if she really knew what was what back then she probably should have known that getting freaky with a married deity tends to anger the almighty cuckold back on Mt. Olympus. Such was the case when Zeus' wife Hera discovered yet another instance of her husband not being able to keep his lightning rod in his oversized toga. Long story short, Hera made Hercules murder his family and to atone -- more or less -- Hercules became a mythological precursor to Cabela's Big Game Hunter completing the "Labors of Hercules" by killing hydras, man-eating birds and stealing some nutty Amazonian lingerie.
The good news for you? You don't have to kill a hydra to enjoy a beer that is truly the nectar of the gods. Doc and El Borracho explain why sucking down a bottle of Hercules Double IPA is a labor of love.
Summary
Doc: Riddle me this, El Borracho, if you were on a desert island, what would you want along with you?
El Borracho: A tall blonde that I could enjoy all day.
Doc: Well, the same is true for me, except it would be a double IPA.
El Borracho: Oh, I see, you were talking about beer ...
Doc: What I mean is that if I could have just one thing with me, it would be a double IPA. And if I could have just one double IPA, it would be Hercules Double IPA. To me, it's the perfect beer.
El Borracho: I don't think you're alone, my friend. Gold medal in the 2007 Australian International Beer Awards. Silver in 2008 and '09. The only question I have is why the hell it didn't win gold since 2007?
Appearance
This looks a lot fucking better than Kevin Sorbo.
Doc: There's not much that I would say is "special" about the bottle design, but let's be honest. For true beer enthusiasts, the beauty is on the inside.
El Borracho: The label is simple and a little rustic, only boasting a beverage that is both "hefty" and "revered," much like Pavarotti or Jabba the Hutt.
Doc: Only you could fit those two together. Nevertheless, the Hercules pours out a beautiful shade of amber with a nice creamy head to top it off, a more seductive combination has seldom existed.
Taste
El Borracho: As Doc stated before, this might be the perfect beer. The balance of the sweetness, the citrus and the bitter finish is unmatched in my experience. And in terms of beer portfolios, mine is rather robust.
Xena didn't win no damn beer medals.
Doc: I'm with you there, my friend. The bitterness hits you at the back of your throat, just enough to remind you it's an IPA. But the thing that gets me going is how smooth it is. It just make you want to tilt your head back and suck it all down at once. ... That sounded like beer porn, didn't it?
El Borracho: Preach on, Ron Beerme. You're right though, this beer is so good, you have to remind yourself to savor it and not just take it down in one pull.
Doc: One thing that will keep you honest -- this bad boy is 10% alcohol, so it will hit your head in a hurry. Gulp down one of the 1 pt., 6 oz. bottles and you're feeling pretty good. Empty another and you’re definitely done operating heavy machinery for a while. Polish off a third, and you might believe you can comprehend the deeper meanings behind the lyrics of
Live frontman Ed Kowalczyk. But again, it’s hard to stop yourself.
El Borracho: If you're out in a bar, it's probably best to have a safe word/phrase so the bartender knows when to cut you off. For example, "Taxi." Or, "Does this come in a main-line option?"
Doc tested. El Borracho approved.
Overall
El Borracho: This little baby is going to hit you in the wallet, but the ~$9 per bottle hit is absolutely worth it.
Doc: Whether you want to pair this with food or imbibe independently, there may be no finer choice than Great Divide's Hercules Double IPA.
Suitable for...
Pairing with a hot dish like curry or TexMex with a kick
Rewarding yourself for a hard day
Rewarding yourself for an easy day
Worshiping deities
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