Mother’s Federal Hill Grille: Shortening Your Life, 1 Burger at a Time

When the Food Network released their "50 States 50 Burgers" list last month, I was eager to see what spots they had selected, as any in my vicinity would immediately be added to the "to-do" list.
I was happy with Virgina's representative, as Ray's Hellburger got the nod, but what really got my mouth watering (and arteries trembling) was the burger from Maryland: The Heart Attack on a Plate.
Courtesy of Mother's Federal Hill Grille in Baltimore, the burger shot to the top of my queueand with a planned trip through B-More in the coming weeks, it wouldn't be there for long.
What makes up the the Heart Attack on a Plate? Here's the skinny deal: 8 oz. beer battered burger stuffed with cheddar cheese, then deep fried. Served with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and chipotle mayonnaise.
Oh. Yes.
Four of us arrived at Mother's around 1 p.m. on Friday, May 8, on our way to a weekend in Atlantic City.
The bar was decently active for a weekday afternoon, but a quick glance around the place revealed no other patrons with the guts to tackle the fried beast, so we bellied up to the table and placed our order: 3 Heart Attacks on a Plate and a Cheeseburger (what can I say, he was watching his figure).
Now, we all knew the components of the HAOAP, but we were gravely unprepared for the site of the burger when it emerged from the kitchen.
This thing was enormous.
When it came out, it looked like a giant onion ring on a bun. Only bigger. The plastic SOLO cups of water on our table were barely as tall as this thing.
There was no way in hell we coulda eaten these things "as is." They were that damn big.
Before leaving us with our tickets to future obesity, our waitress gave us three tips in order to successfully defeat the burgers: 1) Smash 'em. 2) Don't look at 'em. 3) Eat 'em. Smashing the burgers did alleviate some of the height, but not much. So, channeling our inner boa constricter, we unhinged are jaws and went to town. After about 40 seconds of uninterrupted chewing, I could finally begin to experience the taste of the HOAP. And it was..... pretty good. The one big downside of the burger is that you cannot get it cooked-to-order, as the deep fried and cheese-filled aspects do not allow for anything other than a well-done patty. While it was definitely done far more than my liking, the cheddar filling the patty was on point —perfectly melted—and the burger's encompasing grease gave it enough juiciness so that it wasn't too dry. The chipotle mayonaisse was also a nice addition, providing another dynamic to the unqiue burger. Now, I pride myself in finishing just about everything put on my plate, but, I had to concede defeat to the behemoth that day. (I did have a giant breakfast, not two hours earlier, but still, this sucker was filling) Would I recommend Heart Attack on a Plate? Yes and No.* * If you've had the burger, then no, I don't feel it's one of those regular, must-order items on the menu. This burger qualifies as a one and done. But, if you haven't had the pleasure of biting into a 1/2 pound of beer-battered, fried, cheese-filled, chipotle mayo-slathered beef then get yourself to Mother's and order up. It should be on any burger lover's Bucket List, as it's not one you're likely to run across in other joints and Mother's execution is good. (All things considered.) Is it the best burger in Maryland? No. With choice burger spots like BGR The Burger Joint, Urban Burger Co, Kooper's Tavern and others, the Heart Attack on Plate is little more than a conquest burger, rather than a quality one.
Mother's Federal Hill Grille | 1113 S. Charles Street, Baltimore, MD 21230 | 410-244-8686 |

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