Just Say ‘No’ to Burger King & Its Black-Bunned Halloween Burger

halloweenwhopper UPDATE: Beware the green aftermath... With the myriad burger options in the area, there's a reason we don't eat at the giant, fast food chains. But even if we didn't live in the beefy wonderland that is Washington, D.C., we'd still struggle with the stuff offered up at these mass market purveyors. We're burger snobs, we admit it, but even a pedestrian burger eater shouldn't be satisfied – let alone impressed – by the slop they churn out at Burger King. With our curiosity getting the better of us, we decided to slum it and step into the aforementioned joint to get a piece of its black-bunned A.1. Halloween Whopper. What a mistake. This thing sucks– big time. With a sesame-seed-speckled black bun (BK says it's got "A.1. flavor" baked in but it tasted like a regular bun to us) dwarfing the beef, the thin-as-a-pancake meat sliver passing as a hamburger patty was barely discernible amidst the bread and heaping pile of produce on top (though, we'll admit, at least it was fresh and crunchy). An afterthought squirt of A1 steak sauce and a sad slice of American were the finishing touches on this pitiful excuse for a burger. And speaking of cheese, American cheese starts to melt if you look at it funny, so how the hell did Burger King manage to get a completely solid, non-the-least-bit-wilty slice on this burger? If this is the kind of food we've been missing out on all these years, then there's just one thing we can say: "THANK GOD." Burger King. Not even once.

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