BOOZER DAYS: Detour Double IPA

Because we love beer almost as much as we love burgers, we thought we might as well spit some words on the brews. Each week (or as close as we can get), we lock two beer aficionados, simply known as Doc and El Borracho, in a room with a notepad, pencil and a stockpile of beer. Whatever we can decipher from their alcoholic scribbles we bring to you with Boozer Days.
Doc: Despite his nickname, Doc is, in fact, not a doctor of any kind. Rather, Doc acquired his handle from El Borracho for his ability to read above a fifth-grade level -- a skill that warrants an advanced degree in the eyes of El Borracho. Intellectually (and, occasionally, physically) aroused by the bounty of our beer-filled world, Doc is always eager to sample pints from around the globe and learn the stories behind them. Happily married, Doc has often joked that he'd leave his wife for a proper pint. His wife has yet to find this amusing. El Borracho: A patron of 90 percent of the nation's bars during his 45 years, El Borracho's knowledge of beer is surpassed by only a select few. How he has accrued that knowledge has not always been a savory process. As a result, several outstanding warrants have prompted El Borracho to sport his trademark Luchador mask whenever he appears in public -- earning him the rapt attention of both Mexican wrestling fans and fetishists. Single -- and most likely permanently so -- El Borracho is the (sometimes) proud father of seven children in eight states. (It's complicated.) El Borracho's connection to Doc is something of a mystery, but many suspect the involvement compromising photos.

 This Week's Beer: Detour Double India Pale Ale by Uinta Brewing Company (Crooked Line)

(Salt Lake City, Utah) Type: Double IPA | Alcohol: 9.5% | Hailing from the craft beer line of the Uinta Brewing Company, Crooked Line, Detour Double IPA promises to be a trailblazer for bold Double IPAs. After claiming the 2011 Bronze Medal from the North American Brewers Association Awards, our discerning duo of drinkers had high hopes, only to find they'd taken a wrong turn into a crevasse of disappointment.


Doc: Well, El Borracho has eluded the federal marshals and bounty hunters for yet another week, so we're back with another edition of Boozer Days. El Borracho: Si, si, amigos. And this time we're sampling a big ole' bottled brew from Crooked Line, the craft beer brand of Uinta Brewing, labeled Detour Double IPA. Doc: For all the high marks and ballyhoo with its Bronze Medal I gotta say, I didn't really care for it. I had it once before and the first time I thought it was just okay, but this second tasting was actually off-putting. El Borracho: Well, before you go equating that bronze with an Academy Award, you may want to take a gander at the Web page for the North American Brewers Association . It looks like they support some great causes, including brewers, but this wasn't exactly the World Beer Cup. Still, you'd expect a better showing than what we experienced with these bottles. Doc: For sure. The Uinta description for Detour touts a blend of four different varieties of hops that "blazes the trail for fresh and bold double IPAs." The only trail this brew blazed for me was back to the fridge to purge the lackluster taste from my mouth. El Borracho: Yeah, which is too bad because it comes in a super big bottle (1 pint, 9.4 ounces). When it comes to beer, more is always a good thing, unless it's a bad thing. This time it was a bad thing. Doc: Thanks, Yogi.  


Don't put obstacles between us and the beer. Ever.

Doc: As my boozer-obsessed associate mentioned, the bottle is ginormous, which makes it stand out on the shelf. They also use a wire and cork system to cap it. The look is super classy but ultimately the cork is just super annoying. It's hard to grip and I actually needed a corkscrew to get this bottle open. Note to beer makers: Unless it makes the beer taste markedly better, don't put obstacles between a man and his beer. El Borracho: Seconded. The label design is solid -- credited to artist Leia Bell -- plus, it has a puppy on it. And who doesn't like puppies? Only problem is that this puppy is clearly a bitch. Because this beer has no balls.  


Doc: For all the boasting of the four types of hops, when you take a swig it sure doesn't leave a memorable impression. Or at least a positive one. It feels like they've promised us Rin Tin Tin and left us with Toto's slow-witted cousin, post-Bob Barker treatment. The flavor is pretty muted, the bite from the hops is almost nonexistent and there is a really weird aftertaste that I really don't care for. El Borracho: It's got a sweetness that's pretty characteristic of a Double IPA but it comes through in a really odd way that makes it taste like a bitter caramel. Doc: It almost reminds me of those really old candies your grandmother first put on her coffee table in 1972 and then offered to you on every ensuing visit for the next 30 years. El Borracho: Well, if that doesn't convince you to stay away, nothing will. I wasn't quite that put off, but this bottle didn't meet my expectations either ... much like Doc's grandma. Doc: Wait, what?  


Doc: We may be coming down a little heavy on this, but it's only because we really love craft brews, and in my case, particularly Double IPAs. When it comes to the disposable dollars question, I'd rather spend my money on a beer with a little bigger flavor that doesn't conjure up memories of unwrapping a crocheted blanket and a six-pack of socks. In short, Detour just doesn't measure up. El Borracho: But hey, at least there's a lot of it!  

Suitable for...

Gifting to people you secretly dislike Apartment decoration (the puppy is cute) Replacing your grandma's coffee table candies (9.5% alc. content could make those visits more endurable too)  

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